relationships differently. Here's how to protect your relationship against anxiety: Too much though and it could be felt as neediness. Neediness is the enemy. Read how generalized anxiety disorder can negatively impact your yourself for feeling better can take the pressure off your partner or friend. If we feel anxious, we believe we need to get ourselves under control lest we ruin our relationship, adding pressure to the anxiety we are already feeling, and.
In fact, as things get closer between a couple, anxiety can get even more intense. Thoughts come flooding in like: It can lead us to create distance between ourselves and our partner.
At its worst, our anxiety can even push us to give up on love altogether. Learning more about the causes and effects of relationship anxiety can help us to identify the negative thinking and actions that can sabotage our love lives. How can we keep our anxiety in check and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to someone we love?
What Causes Relationship Anxiety? The more we value someone else, the more we stand to lose. On many levels, both conscious and unconscious, we become scared of being hurt.
To a certain degree, we all possess a fear of intimacy. Get out before you get hurt. It can promote hostile, paranoid and suspicious thinking that lowers our self-esteem and drives unhealthy levels of distrust, defensiveness, jealousy and anxiety. Basically, it feeds us a consistent stream of thoughts that undermine our happiness and make us worry about our relationship, rather than just enjoying it.
When we get in our heads, focusing on these worried thoughts, we become incredibly distracted from real relating with our partner. We may start to act out in destructive ways, making nasty comments or becoming childish or parental toward our significant other.
For example, imagine your partner stays at work late one night. Can you really believe her? She probably prefers being away from you.
You may act angry or cold, which then sets your partner off to feel frustrated and defensive. Instead of enjoying the time you have together, you may waste an entire night feeling withdrawn and upset with each other.
When it comes to all of the things we worry ourselves about in relationships, we are much more resilient than we think. In truth, we can handle the hurts and rejections that we so fear.
How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety - PsychAlive
We can experience pain, and eventually, heal. However, our critical inner voice tends to terrorize and catastrophize reality. It will completely distort reality and undermine our own strength and resilience.
Just put your guard up and never be vulnerable to anyone else. When we feel anxious or insecure, some of us have a tendency to become clingy and desperate in our actions. We may feel possessive or controlling toward our partner in response. Conversely, some of us will feel easily intruded on in our relationships.I Feel Out Of Control: Anxiety Destroys Relationships
We may retreat from our partners, detach from our feelings of desire. We may act out by being aloof, distant or guarded.
These patterns of relating can come from our early attachment styles. Our attachment pattern is established in our childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. It influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. Different attachment styles can lead us to experience different levels of relationship anxiety. You can learn more about what your attachment style is and how it impacts your romantic relationships here.
What Thoughts Perpetuate Relationship Anxiety? The specific critical inner voices we have about ourselves, our partner and relationships are formed out of early attitudes we were exposed to in our family or in society at large.
Sexual stereotypes as well as attitudes that our influential caretakers had toward themselves and others can infiltrate our point of view and shade our current perceptions. Critical Inner Voices about the Relationship People just wind up getting hurt.
Anxiety Checklist Action Steps Pursuing a romantic relationship can sometimes feel like a dangerous game. Dating requires a certain amount of vulnerability, and it comes with the risk of getting hurt or being disappointed.
Because of the uncertain outcome, people can experience a fair amount of anxiety about their current romantic relationship or the hurdles of pursuing a new one. Many people find that having an untreated anxiety disorder can affect their romantic life. People with social anxiety disorder may constantly worry how they are being judged by others, so they may avoid romantic relationships or dating in general due to the fear of embarrassment. Others with generalized anxiety disorder may have trouble with dating or managing relationships as well, as they struggle with worry about their partner abandoning them.
Everyone is susceptible to day-to-day stress manifesting as worry about a relationship, fear of the dating process, or trouble communicating with a partner.
Article continues below Are you suffering from anxiety? Take our 2-minute anxiety quiz to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment.
Action Steps for Managing Relationship Anxiety Ask for help — Never assume that you have to learn to manage anxiety in relationships by yourself. Consider how individual counseling can help you manage your fears about relationships or take steps towards a happier dating life.