‘Women are closing the infidelity gap:’ New book explores why wives cheat - The Globe and Mail
Even though most women who engage in relationship infidelity understand on some level that what they are doing is potentially harmful to both their relationship. A lot of women who cheat are getting revenge on their partners, after being seriously hurt. Affairs can do a lot of damage, but instead of crying with their friends. Stated another way, when women cheat, there is usually an element of Men can and do cheat on a good relationship, and good relationships are worth saving.
Another recalled the jolt she felt when her phone buzzed and her husband was standing nearby, never learning her secret. Female infidelity remains both widely condemned and highly misunderstood. Three recent books challenge the cultural myth that women are inherently monogamous and shine a light on the motivations wives have when they step out of their marriages. Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust and Infidelity is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free, which features insights from sociologists, psychologists, anthropologists and sex researchers, as well as 30 unfaithful wives and girlfriends ranging in age from 20 to Contraception, earning power, increased independence and digital connections have all opened a door for women looking beyond their marriages.
Walker, an assistant professor of sociology at Missouri State University, interviewed 46 women between the ages of 24 and 65 using Ashley Madison, the dating website catered to adulterers.
She produced a comprehensive and surprising portrait of the female cheater. In their extramarital affairs, women spoke of relinquishing the structured roles and expectations of good wife and good mother. The infidelity served as a release valve. She and others are now asking what female adultery means for the future of commitment. Rethinking Infidelity, told the Globe last year. Here, four Canadian women — all of whom chose not to use their full names to protect the privacy of their families — share why they chose to look outside their marriages and how they experienced their double lives.
Reasons why women cheat
Self-gratification Deborah, 64, described her marriage as two people living "parallel lives. An unexpected infatuation with the husband of a close friend sped things up dramatically. I could not resist it. As he turned to Deborah, a mutual friend, for guidance, one conversation abruptly shifted the energy between them.
Tentatively, they began a long-distance relationship, she in Canada, he in France. I found it virtually impossible to think about anybody else. Two of her three children felt deeply betrayed; it took years to repair these relationships. Many say they had no intention of hurting or even abandoning their husbands, even as they betrayed them. Lisa Kelly, a registered psychotherapist who counsels couples in Toronto, said these women often grapple with "a mixture of guilt, rationalization, excitement, attachment and indecision that culminates in overall angst.
Or maybe they are scared of being alone and want to audition your replacement beforehand.
Reasons why women cheat
Ninety per cent of people who cheat believe that they are justified in doing so. Are you stingy with emotional support? She may feel abandoned and isolated. Remember, intimacy is not just about sex, it's about non-physical connections, commitment and mutual emotional investment. Have you committed a betrayal that remains unresolved?
She may seek revenge. Are you equal partners or does she feel exploited emotionally or practically? How do you know if she is cheating besides the strange rash?
No relationship is perfect. If you still want to be together, try to work it out when things inevitably get difficult Is she truly being distant, or have past experiences caused you to jump to the conclusion that people will inevitably hurt you? If she has cheated before, she may think it's OK to do again, and it would be naive to ignore past examples of a two-timing character. There are some pretty impressive surveillance techniques and body-language give-aways, but that's another article altogether so for now I'll suggest the obvious: Bear in mind that if you even have to ask, trust has somehow already been eroded and this issue, whatever it turns out to be, needs confronting.