Is the 7-Year Itch Real? Experts Say Why Relationships Fail | Personal Space
Forget The 7-Year Itch. The Something One Is Far Worse Inching toward 50 and beyond, they imagine a new relationship will give them that last shot at. It's known as the seven year itch, a time of potential crisis when you traditionally take stock of your relationship and decide whether it's what you really want or. Or rather, the itch. With boring predictability, we had fallen prey to the seven-year itch – the decline in relationship satisfaction that classically.
When the children were both in daycare, the pair finally had an opportunity to have a meaningful discussion about the next chapter of their lives. They fought more often and avoided difficult conversations. Hollonds says cracks in a marriage often don't show immediately, as the focus is on getting through the day.
After a few months, realising how much damage had been done to the marriage, and that neither was committed to fixing it, they separated. Counsellor Hailee Walker says that resentment can build quickly when there is dissatisfaction in a relationship.
Then it becomes like lying next to a train, and it's infuriating. Angela had a year old son from her previous marriage and Matt quickly formed a solid, loving relationship with him. And when the couple's son arrived three years after the wedding, Matt felt nothing but adoration for his family.
But over the following few years, the pressure of balancing work with a young family was tough and Matt began to emotionally disconnect. Suddenly I needed to put the kids first, Angela second, and me last. My sense of self was diminished.
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Walker, who likens having children to throwing a hand grenade into a marriage, says couples lose a sense of themselves around this time and function more as co-parents. Although Angela didn't see any signs that her marriage was in trouble, she recalls that Matt wasn't as engaged in conversation and took longer than usual to organise family-related things.
The pair credit counselling with saving their marriage because it taught them how to communicate. Then, miraculously, I got pregnant.
Surviving the seven-year itch
At the start ofI gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Work deadlines plus sleepless nights often culminated in rows over domestic arrangements, family and money. The tension was tangible and something had to change.
It seemed like the perfect time to find out how to put the spark back into my marriage. In other words, we had to learn to be nicer to each other. I was sceptical but my husband and I did it anyway, then swapped lists.
He was surprised and slightly alarmed to discover that I seemed to feel the greatest love for him when there were refreshments involved, or he did something considerate to keep me warm when I felt chilly. But there were more useful ones, too.
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And have slept properly. The more I digested this, the more it made sense — and being conscious of how my sleep or failure to exercise impacted on our relationship was a wake-up call. When we first met, I made an effort to conceal any tired grumpiness and exercised regularly but my workout routine post-childbirth was limited to darting around after a small child.
One expert suggests couples pretend they have a house guest — to help them behave better I vowed to do better and he promised to carry on making me frothy coffee and keep me in cashmere socks.
To explore our negative beliefs and unhelpful behaviours step twowe needed to learn to express ourselves and be more honest. The best way to do this seemed to be to document our relationship as it really was. And when I woke up the following morning with a hangover, this too was snapped for posterity. A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up. She suggests that couples pretend they have a house guest in the spare room to help them behave better.
They became so mindful of being overheard that they stopped rowing. Helen says she had a moment when everything felt suddenly clear.